Updated: Sep 23, 2019
Hello fellow artists and anyone who is pursing a career that involves an active social media presence. Behind every page refresh, there can be a detrimental amount of toxic media and manipulative advertisements. Trying to pursue an authentic online buisness, is no easy pursuit when we exist in a media regurgitating, like based frenzy culture.
Have you ever waited until the timing was perfect to post something you’ve been working tirelessly on. Then, impatiently refreshing your feed every couple of minutes, only to see your post has received a frighteningly low amount of media feedback. The feelings that ensue after any level of social media rejection often include, loneliness, self doubt, isolation, jealousy and regret. These feelings can affect you deeper than you know. The desire to feel connectedness, acceptance and validation is so deeply rooted, that any amount of media rejection, can knock you off your social game for months.
I’ve taken months off of social media posting, i’ve deleted the app…(and then quickly and regrettably gotten it back), i’ve even hidden social apps under multiple folders so that i’m less likely to obsess. However, no matter how hard I try to “not care” about likes, followers, and exterior validation, the need to feel accepted still courses through me, and the overwhelmingly strong aftermath of rejection and loneliness, constantly surround my thoughts, waiting to pounce on my insecurities.
However, I have recently found a method to professionally use social media, that has seemed to be the only salvation to brake through the rejection barrier.
My secret weapon for victory against the social media monster, is taking control of my accounts. Really digitally showing up and putting my true honest self out there. Of course I still control how much of my story that I’m sharing, but I get to do it my way, on my own terms. For me, it makes social media feel more authentic and allows me to focus more on connecting with others, rather then competing with their social accounts.
I also find that any negative reactive emotion that stems from online, is typically attached to some sort of number. (ex; likes, followers, your other friends likes, number of messages)
Getting attached to numbers is extremely dangerous. There is no numerical goal that is ever enough, a goal of 500 followers might feel great when it’s accomplished, but then you want 1000 followers, 90 likes might feel amazingly productive, but how about when 90 likes isn’t as shiny and fun as 600 likes. See what I mean?
Numbers are not defining of quality and self worth, they are just figments of the social media game.
Ever since I’ve made the choice to disassociate with numbers, and to put more of myself online, I’ve had a much healthier relationship with social media. I’ve even seen the benefits within the growth of my business. People respond better to authenticity and self actualization, then follower gaining tactics and a sense a false mis-guided self. After all, aren't we all just seeking true and honest human connection?
Join the conversation, comment below on any tips or lessons that you use to build resilience against the social media monster.